Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Ties that Bind

So many contradictions in life, the ties that bind you to your loves, can feel made of a strong unbreakable fiber woven of hopes, dreams, tears, a deep desire for the happiness and well being, and at the same time, it can be as delicate as a weakened silk thread. I think sometimes, so much pressure is put on that hearty cord, that it binds, and it suffers hairline fractures not detectable to the naked eye or the fearful heart, it breaks from the pressure, from insensitivity, unmet expectations, disappointments, betrayals, all real or imagined, it gets stressed, until it thins, your heart races, and you try to catch your breath and swallow hard, to hold on to that last little thread, it is still connected, so there is that. Something to build on, something to learn from, something real and raw. That is the hope. The hope that you can gain your footing, and you can thoughtfully, slowly, rebuild and weave new threads of trust, respect, space, being present, love, and light. The wonderful thing about this new light bearing thread is that it is lighter, but it is much stronger, it will hold you, and say gentle prayers for the greatest good, for the highest purpose. It will give comfort, and assurance to those brave enough to offer there thread for the weaving. Sometimes when the ties that bind finally break, it is a release, a stepping back, if one takes the opportunity, one can step back, take a deep breath. It is a challenge when you are a hurt damaged human, to not lash out, and place blame, and keep score. You have to understand that it will not be the same, but it can be better, because this new thread will start from a place of breaking open, and acceptance. I am holding my thread, with hope, and intent. I wont lie, there is also sadness and a grieving for something that is no more. But that thing it was made of before was being held together by glue that had no integrity, because it was made up of pain, and sadness, of keeping peace, of not rocking the boat. My boat has gotten rocked hard, and quite frankly I am not sure the storm is over, but when it is, I will be open, I can only control my openness and accept those I love where they are.

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