I started meditation when I was 14 years old and continued daily until I was 22 years old, if calmed my racing mind, help me clear my mind and helped me to unravel whatever perceived problem I had at that time. The goal with a completely clear mind, with little or no outside thought entering. I stopped meditating abruptly at age 22 for reasons I may discuss at some other point, but basically I believe something dark entered my sphere, and I did not know at that point how to deal with this, and stopped. When I started my journey in earnest i realized that meditation was going to be a very important part of that. I have learned through my meditation (which I am not practicing nearly enough) I now need visualation, and I am looking for an experience. The little time I have set aside for meditation has been very fruitful, and amazing when I go into it with an expectation. In my last meditation I was seeking calm and beauty. I imagined myself as a bird, flying over a forest, I then decided that I wanted to be over a body of water, a lake a river, no this isnt doing it for me, I know an old favorite from vacations, a beach, rays of sun bouncing off the water like little diamond lights, the air current, i flew close to the beach, as I liked the warmth and glisten from the sand and the tide rolling in. I would soar, and ride the air current, and dip sharply to the surface. It was a wonderful calming meditation, when I experienced the Sea Gull.
To be honest as special as that meditation was, I hadnt conciously thought about it since that time. I think I just imagined all these things, and perhaps did not realize as I tend not to, that the bird came to me, and had a message. The message I did not fully get until yesterday. I was in rush hour traffic, a particularly bad day, feeling a little agressive, as I was just trying to get home, angry, uptight, etc.... All of the sudden it sounded like it was actually in my truck, I heard a seagull, I was no where near water, or gulls for that matter generally. As soon as I heard it, I immediately heard it tell me to find my calm, and immediately after taking a breath, I did , I thought what a special gift. The crazy part, is that I still did not make the connection at that time to the meditation. I had driven another 35 miles, and it hit me, I recalled the meditation, and the gull, I just laughed like a loon, what a Universe... It is clear to me that my journey will strongly involve animal medicine, and I can no longer ignor the signs of that. I am very excited. I have always been an animal person and generally prefer their company to humans. I will move forward to receive all of the animal medicine that I can receive, and be nourished with. I know typically that sea gulls are not associated with calm with regard to animal totems, but for me in my personal experience it does, likely because my favorite vacations are always at the beach, and it just takes me there.