Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Let me once again say that Journey has been an immense gift to me, as well as the connection, and synchronicity that shows up in my life to validate the reality, and non reality we live in. I journeyed deeply into the lower underworld, looking for the beginning of this pain, looking for the buried deep burden. What was I shown here, a screen shot from events in my life from childhood. The theme, me with no voice, me being silenced. The silencer's were those who did not want to hear what a child had to say, those who exerted power and opinion like a weapon. Relationships where silence on certain issues was required to keep the peace. The dominating issue, which i will be honest has always been a comical one became serious in my viewing. When I was a child 5-6 years old, my teenage uncle would baby sit me. I would follow him, and annoy him, I would chatter. The more he tried to make me be quiet the more i would needle and annoy until he had enough he tied my hands and my feet, and put duct tape over my mouth, I have always laughed about this, because I knew I was badgering him, it never pained me, it never made me angry, but it has become a snap shot in my mind that represents the silencing of my voice. I can name it many things, i can tell you I am a quiet person by nature. That I am not competetive by nature, that I would rather let someone else shine, and I still believe these things. My need to be heard truly heard about things that matter most is where I truly need work. My willingness to battle when i am saying things that are not pleasing to the many strong heads, and broken hearts around me. This is just an observation, and a realization from the deepest part of my being. I lay to rest much sadness, regret and guilt in that journey, and so much more work to be done. I am thinking about my word for 2014 with Pixie's prompting. I will choose carefully. Have you chosen your word for 2014?