IN Flight

I saw a beautiful Heron this morning, it was particularly striking, I was driving from my home in the country to work in the City. There was a low light fog on the ground, the sky pink purple and blue in an incredible ethereal haze. A marsh to my left with fog dancing above it, and emerging a like a ghost, a graceful Heron, she flew up like an arrow from the marsh, and leveled out above me with wings spread, for a moment I was in awe and envious of her. I will take more photos in 2012, a love I have not given enough attention to.

Internal Conflict

The old is fighting a battle, its weapon apathy and procrastination. I have days of a true need and desire to be open and embrace my lessons, and then days with a head of excuses. My resolve I must be open and fight for this, even though my thoughts have been more towards opening, and listening quietly to those whispers of truth. I think essentially a real openess and desire should be the catalyst for change for the seeker, but the old holds on and tries to talk to you like a mother when you are going out on your own for the first time,but it all plays out internally the struggle that leaves you exhausted. Baby steps, Heart Open, Eyes Open. Breathe, Love, Be.

Inspiration

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” The Dalai Lama

CHRISTMAS !

I was finally able to upload my photos from the Winter Solstice Release. I can almost breathe, I feel like I have been in the car for day's. I really dreaded it this year, I am so down with the commercial driven holiday, but it was really great! My sister is finally happy and knows for the first time at 40 what real love feels like. A Lovely Christmas Eve dinner with her and the new guy in her life after a traumatic year for her, and her children, so very content. We stood at the kitchen island heaping with shrimp and crab legs, and had a lovely feast. Christmas Day was spent with my husbands family, unfortunately after a competetive mountain bike excursion between my husband and his two brothers which ended in a trip to the emergency room for my brother in law, and a hospital stay, it was still a very warm enjoyable Christmas. I think I convinced myself that it would be a drag, because I have for so long let my family and friends try to get me wrapped up in buying tons of gifts, and I have always wanted something more meaningful, I stayed true to myself for the first time in a long time, and made almost every gift, which was not too difficult because I make soap and other natural body products. They were very pleased and I truly felt that i was giving of myself and not my bank account this year. I have noticed however that most people I know were becoming a little more introspective, It likely has something to do with the economy, but I think as much to do with the Spiritual Shift that is now occurring as we head toward the new energy of 2012. My husband and I are usually very private but we have shared more of our goals and our dreams for our lives, and spirit, and some have been taken aback and made light of it. I dont need for them to understand, but it gives me great comfort knowing that so many are feeling the pull that I am feeling and not ignoring the call any longer. Pixie Campbell has a wonderful website under http://pixiecampbell.typepad.com/Pink Coyote and is one of the treasures I have stumbled upon. So many wonderful women, my gift to myself going into 2012, will be participating in her Soulodge. Love Light and Peace.

Photos Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice Celebration

Last evening on the Winter Solstice at approximately 9:30 Central Time, my mother, Steve and I celebrated the Winter Solstice for the first time, of what I hope will be many. It was wonderful, My husband Steve stoked the wood stove on our porch that has been in my family for a long time. We made and filled our burlap bundles, we offered natural tobacco, lavender, sage, and chamomile, as our offering. We thoughtfully wrote down the many things that were not invited into our lives for 2012. It was powerful. We sat in front of the roaring fire, with the cold chill in the air. My husband began and gave a beautiful prayer to Source and Universe, and asked that the Universe acknowledge that he is releasing these things and the energy of these things that keep him stuck, he placed his bundle in the fire, and we watched it burn away. We discussed and contemplated our goals for the new year, we discussed our indian heritage, we discussed the old ways, and wondered wistfully if we would all come full circle back to the earth and an appreciation for the plant spirit, rock spirit, and every being that needs to be acknowledged on this planet. I gave a small list of my list of released there were so many, my bundle was bulging and took a long time to burn. I released, fear, guilt, anxiety, shame, negative self talk, my armor, etc.... so so many things. We laughed because my mother and husbands burned readily and quickly, my just lingered there smoldering, to the point after at least 15 minutes it still looked whole and recognizable, i finally nudged it into a deeper hotter flame, and watched it burn, and stared as if waiting to see the form of all of these things swell up out of the fire, and drift away on the smoke into the universe anticipating the ember ashes would fall to the earth and nourish, turning something no longer useful into something useful to the fertile earth in prepartion for a new beginning a new birth. I believe, I believe I believe. A year of blessings and light to all.

Release

Now begins a year in the life of my spiritual journey. In a way I feel like a fledgling, but in reality, like most I have been traveling this journey for my time on this earth. I have taken many detours, and avoided the path at some points, but it is time. I am ready. It became abundantly clear to me in the beginning of 2011 that the winds of my life were changing, and bringing many signals and openings to take the leap, I progressed initially, very painful, sometimes joyful, frightening, and then I regressed back into the EGO, which as Dr. Dyer says "E-G-O" "Stands for Edging God Out" I fell back into some of my old ways. Not all and I did make progress, but now this is the year. I will journal here on my blog my journey. I have once again been led to facinating people that are inspiring to me, and have shown me that I can and must do this. My journey is starting I am opening up, on Thursday December 22, 2011 The Winter Solstice I will release my self, I will release the old crap that I have been carrying in me, on me, and dragging behind me. The things that are becoming clearer to me now. I will make my bundle. I will take my cloth, I will put in my offering to the Universe and Source, of Tobacco, Lavender, and Sage, I will fill my bundle with a list of the things I am releasing, the things that are not welcomed into 2012. The insecurity, the resentment and so on. The list will be long, and I will burn it in the fire, burn that part of myself in the fire, in order to let the new way of being be born in me. I have Great Hope, and excitement that my journey begins, the road will likely be as painful, as it is joyful, as I look into and face the truth, my Truth, and embrace my healing. I will post my list and photos of the release. Join Me

Mother of All Releasings Ceremony: Winter Solstice, 2012 from Pixie Campbell on Vimeo.

Rest In Peace Grandma Betty

My Grandmother passed away, on Sunday August 14, 2011 at 83 years old. Let me start this, by telling you that I love my Grandmother, I say this first, because what I say next may be shocking and make me sound like a cold uncaring person, but you just had to be there for the ride to understand. My Grandma Betty, her death was not really a surprise, she has been in the nursing home for a while, and her health has been going down hill lately. My G was a character, and not always in the best way, in fact usually in the worst way. I could tell you story after story of her sharp tongued ongoing barage of negative things, constant complaint and whining, that sounds really terrible, but I am trying to tell it like it is, I am one of the most tolerant and forgiving people you would ever hope to meet, but to witness are big part of her life, it has been amazing. I will say that to give you a clue, that while standing at my grandmothers casket along with other family members, my uncle, my mothers kid brother (who took the brunt of my grandmothers observations) stood over the casket, welling up, and said before everyone there, to my grandmother " Your were so, so mean!" long pause, but I miss you. I think that sums it up.

I understand that my G did not have an easy life, I understand that she likely never got what she wanted, that she felt cheated in a way, that she was bitter, and angry and a fighter.

What I also understand, as most people do, is that we all have a choice, it may not feel like it, but we do, we all have burdens in life to take on. I have had a pretty hard life myself, but I will not let it, stop me in time, and wallow, and blame, and hate.

It was my choice, my life. Just the one in this space and time. I must learn, and accept that my pain, my grief, my joy, my love, is my own, it is no greater, and no less than anyone else's. I hope that when my G mother ascended, and I believe that she did, that she felt, or became aware, that she was loved, that we were always there, and that no degree of discomfort that she caused pushed her family away, as many would have, and that speaks volumes about the people that stuck it out, mainly my mother, she was always there, always giving, always being vented on and at.

TRULY REST IN PEACE, GRANDMA, ITS NOT WHAT YOUR DEALT IN LIFE, IT IS HOW YOU CHOOSE TO PLAY YOUR HAND.

SURREAL

My life has been a little surreal as of late, but in a good way, I think!. My baby and I are pretty private people. Our home is our sanctuary, and we rarely have people over. We decided that we have to be more social, dont get me wrong, we like being around people, for the most part, but we dont really entertain. My baby is the life of a party, he is a light ball of energy that lights up the room, and people gravitate to it like a moth to flame, I am the balance of that in the calm, quiet, introverted one. We are opposites, but it works. Again, as I do most times, I digress. We recently met some new friends, believe me it has been a while. It is really too long and complicated, but we just havent made couple friends, even though we have been married for over 12 years, because I think we are so different from each other, that actually finding a couple that we both click with is very difficult. My baby met some very interesting people a few months ago,while out of town at a trade show, and he really hit it off with them. They are now at our home, because they do trade shows as well and wanted to try some in our area, we invited them to stay at our place and plug in their RV. We have plenty of space in the country. It has been amazingly rewarding to connect to these two very unusual lovely people, very good guest. She is Russian, and a gypsy at the moment, she is a very talented pianist, and singer, composer, she has toured and performed in concert halls, and taught college. He is very energetic, innovative, creative, funny, guy. She brought her piano to store in our house, while she stays with us and looks for a place in Hill Country. Our evenings are spent at times, with the guys having a ping pong tournament outside, while she plays classical music on the piano, on my porch. I guess we just had to find the right space cadets, to click with.

BABY GOAT LOVE !!!

While No One Was Watching

Wow, (6) months since my last post. Life is really odd, and too wierd for words sometimes. Mine anyway. The dilemna possibly, is that sometimes, the things in my life have nothing to do with Simple Living, or making, sometimes, it's very unexpected and complex. Is it better to stay off subject privately, and not post, or post it because it is signfigant. To catch up, perhaps another day. I have made my soap, body butters, hand balms, and I love them, I have done a couple of shows, developed packaging and my company name. I am very proud of the product, but need to step up production. I obtained to wonderful little buddies, a male pygmy goat, and a male dwarf nigerian goat, sweet, sweet sweet. Who knew goats had so much personality and affection.

I have 2 now, but I am ready for more, maybe a female, we are taking our time, I dont want to have a full fledged breeding herd. Planted my garden late, but I am getting some really beautiful squash, now come on tomatoes, and bell peppers. I will be lucky to get anything, with over a month of 100 + days. In my next post, I will be discussing : Limoncello, Lemon Curd, and Craiglisting efficiently.

Snow

We had snow last week, I am not a cold weather person, but it was a nice change. I needed a three day weekend anyway. Its been a while I am working on my soap and other projects, I will post soon.