BEING YOUR OWN ANIMAL

When reviewing, my life, my needs, my post they center around balance, and the potential disruption of that, how to step outside the bubble but maintain balance all the same. I find it is intriguing that the very thing that has helped me feel connected also challenges my balance. I have felt this for a while, since I first began my journey on a conscious level. I would not be at the point I am at without wonderful connections, and finding wonderful wild women on line, generously sharing their journey, offering guidance, and making me not feel crazy or alone, the flip side of this is the fact that at times I feel stuck and limited.

I really hate writing that, but it strikes me that many of the blogs and books I read and conversations I have lead me to realize that this is not an issue that I alone deal with. I have seen bloggers and friends on their journey seeing what great magic and medicine is being spun by their sisters and while completely inspiring, it sometimes makes them question their own journey, I get this sense. I will see an excitement, a whisper, a new found confidence, a plan spoken to the world, and then a pulling back, a quietening. A desire sometimes verbal sometimes not, that watching and listening to someone else's magic has made them question their own.  That they realize that they are not listening to their own voice anymore.

That is the delicate balance I suppose. To stay connected, and engaged, but at the same time following your own muse, and knowing that your magic is just as big, and is necessary for the collective whole.

So I guess let a bear be a bear, and an owl be an owl....and keep being your own animal with its own wild sacred nature.

Sorry if this is a jumble of a thought, just an observation, and something I have to gauge and honor in myself.

Does anyone else feel this way? or have tools, they use to stay true to their own magic while being awe struck with someone elses?    

DUALITY AND THE BLISS BUBBLE

When anyone ask me to sum up what I am looking for in my life, and as part of my journey. I will always say "balance" It has taken me a long time to achieve balance, and of course it requires a lot of nurturing and pushing forward and pulling back at times. It gives me a great sense of peace that I did not have for most of my life. I am so protective of my balance that I feel very threatened if anything comes into the mix that I feel will throw my world out of balance... It is fragile, and beautiful, but perhaps at times it keeps me in a bubble and a bit limited.

I am striving still and always for balance, and that will not change, because it just feels right. The change perhaps is that I now push myself in ways I never have. I am opening myself up and exposing my self to situations I never thought I would. Balance is just that balance. If I choose and i am mindful, and a little more at ease with my processes I can step out spontaneously and still have balance. Meaning that instead of setting such strong perimeters I just now let myself experience things a little more spontaneously. I am really trying to let myself just be, without the self scolding, of Why did you say that, Why did you do or not do that.

My break out lately to push full throttle into this (because for someone who needs balance, i am also a person that goes to extremes, the middle of the road holds little appeal) I have stopped for the most part, judging myself.

Lately, I have been giving myself a wide berth, of self expression without wondering what the consequences will be ( i usually fixate obsessively on this) Even in my diet, I try to be mindful, but if i want a cupcake damn it, so fucking what!

I think that is actually pretty good balance dont you, green smoothie or quinoa for breakfast, fruits and nuts for snack, salad for lunch, healthy dinner, and a decadent guilt free cupcake for dessert....

I just used that as an example, it goes much deeper than that. Basically it feels really good, not walking a tightrope all the time. Balance can still be achieved but an organic balance that has room for other people, other things, and ones fickleness.

Letting go of most of this rigidness, of worrying about my precious bubble of bliss, and what other people think has been strangely liberating.

I will wear what I please without wondering if someone is going to question if i looked in the mirror before I left the house.

Stating what I think and circles I never would have before for fear of insulting someones religous belief or politics.

And accepting my body image, and not looking at food as the enemy...

Sorry this was such a rambly post, just had to get the jumble out of my head, so i can move on....

Your thoughts on duality and balance?