Waiting to exhale

Or waiting for my parachute to open....On some days it is like my life cant begin until I walk away from my corporate job, in a little over a week, but is also like, OMG, What am I thinking, breath, breath, chocolate, more chocolate. I am just a ball of nerves, holding my breath and struggling to find my peace, I know it is there, and i do find it in moments when I just carve out solitude and breath. In those anxious moments I quiver with the remembering of struggling in the past, and the tension that can create in a marriage. The sleepless nights. I tell myself, that was then and this is now, and there is a wish on my tongue, and that I have the ability, resources, and a goal. I know that I now have a well to draw from, and fertile soil which has been planted in. Times may get tough around here, but I will do my best to keep posting here, to give my self this journal to share with someone who needs to hear it, someone who can relate, someone who can teach, and lift me up (you know who you are) Be patient with me when I regress a bit and struggle, when my knowing becomes foggy, and my goal becomes blurry, and please revel with me when I am driven, and passioniate, and my clarity makes me feel divine. Yesterday, I felt like I held my breath and my heart the whole day squeezed tight. Test were hitting me hard any heavy (or so i convinced myself) testing the limits of my finances (which are small) and my resolve. Today I am home, being gentle with and nurturing myself. I am reading Women who runs with Wolves daily, and will share some nuggets with you later that have spoken to me, and let me know that even though I feel like i am falling flat, I am "feeding my psyche" and my spirit when i engage in reading, listening to, and talking about my light, all of our light, and the magic that we all are. We are so much greater than we can even imagine. Have a wonderful day! Snuggle up with a book, and a warm drink. Nap in the sun, walk in a beautiful place, spend quality time with furry friends. Much Love. Please share your thoughts and tools with me...