The Uprush

I have been a little disappointed lately, my anxiety hit out of no where beginning in December, and appears to be somewhat subsiding, now that I have found the culprit.  My anxiety generally begins with an irrational fear, and escalates. It usually last for a very brief time and is very physical in nature, and obviously appears triggered by some chemical imbalance.  This anxiety is one that I have not experienced in quite a while. That slow building, blooming anxiety that creaks into every crevice setting up house. I had an idea of the potential cause, and it is kind of crazy I guess. It is the Up-rush.... I truly believe that we are closer to the light and that  the cosmic shift we are experiencing is really lending itself to creativity among other things. My creativity with my poetry for instance has sat dormant for 20 years, but now I am bursting at the seams with it. So many ideas so many projects I want to take on and complete. So much new found confidence, new ideas. I now have (3) Etsy Shops, and the ideas just keep coming. Along with the frustration that I am only one person with limited resources, and time. This Up rush of energy and creativity is doing battle with the procrastinating insecure, and financially and time stretched me...

Once I realized the issue, I have to say that it is a wonderful problem to have. I know this because I have spent so much time in the dark, under the covers, hiding my eyes, shielding my heart, doubting my dreams that this is new to me. 

I will embrace this UP-RUSH!! and meet it with everything I have, I will do it, until I have done it.... I will do what I can, and not put aside any of these dreams, ideas, wishes.... 

Are you experiencing anxiety or the creative or spiritual rush brought on by shifting our cosmos our universe? I would love to hear.... 

Panic

Panic attacks are strange things, irrational things, i guess that is what happened to me yesterday, and I am not at all sure had 100% to do with my root canal, i was still freaking out, with the gas, ha! the music seemed eerie, for some reason Sister Christian playing in my semi passed out state, with my dentist whistling to it, kinda creeped me out... but no pain, and knock on wood still no pain... i will go back for part 2 in a couple of weeks, but I am fine. My poor husband trust my intuition so much that even though he was re assuring me and telling me I was being silly, was on pins and needles the whole time, my phone rang, ignored about 3 times him wanting to make sure I was okay, and that I did not slip in to permanent lala land or something... Other things happened yesterday that were upsetting and made me angry at myself and embarrassed, those things from the recent past that i handled in the wrong way, coming back to bite me... anyway, i am a little melancholy over it, i obsess a little and need to give myself a bit of a break, but I need to examine why i did what i did, and hopefully not fall into the same trap i set for myself again in the future. It is affecting to a small degree the growth of my company or at least making me question myself, this to will pass, but I will work to be a more responsible, especially financially responsible adult....