Thursday, October 4, 2012
Compassion
I have always been a very very compassionate person, I would say almost to a fault. I ache and hurt for the hurt, the wronged the misunderstood, man or beast...When I was a small child about 4 years old, I distinctly remember feeling that even inanimate objects were living things, and I often wondered if they felt? and if so what did they feel, sad, happy, etc... I was lucky as a pre teen my wise grandmother told me that I should always view my compassion as a gift, that i should embrace it. She told me a story about when she was young, and she shared my level of compassion, as she became a young adult, she felt that her compassion made her too weak and vulnerable for a harsh world. She told me that she prayed daily that God please take her compassion away so that she did not hurt so much, she did not want her compassion because she saw it as weakness, she said eventually, she noticed that her prayer was answered, she felt different, colder, less caring..She told me that would give anything to have it back, because she missed the warmth of it, the depth of feeling. I listened to her, and compassion has not always served me, but I never forgot what she said. As I get older I am still as compassionate, but I have learned to protect my heart for the most part. I now love that I am compassionate. It burns, but the burn is warmth. I am looking for ways to use my compassion to actually affect change. I do a lot with animals, but I want to make more of a difference, I was given this compassion for a reason, and I believe the reason should have some postive action attached to it. I am trying to figure that out, and will post it here.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Your grandmother sounds like a very wise soul indeed.
ReplyDeleteI too, am compassionate, to a fault. Ever the idealist, sometimes this world we live in calls for the realist in me to step in and set things straight.
I think you should work with animals - you'd be great and they need human compassion/
Great post!
peace
how fortunate you were, to have an elder guide you in that.
ReplyDeletei too am super compassionate, i wouldn't give it up for anything. however, i have learnt that self-compassion is just as important. and also, that part of self-compassion means it's no un-compassionate to put up appropriate boundaries. sometimes i hurt so much that i know there is nothing truly effective in me left, all my energy is eaten up by only feeling, you know?
glad you're holding onto yours. good to see you blogging again.
Thank you, so true, at this late stage I am finally learning self compassion, but it is still not natural for me. I have to almost see myself as a child to truly show myself compassion and encouragement, but that is where I had to return in the shadows to that child, and that teen, and that young 20 something, still in there, waiting to be dealt with and I have, probably the most sacred experience I have had on this journey is going deep, and looking behind the shadows, grieve, embrace, release....
ReplyDelete