Anxiety

Wow, I am so unprepared this year, what in the hell happened, wasn't it just August yesterday. Thank goodness, my mother stepped up and will have Thanksgiving Dinner at her home. I have not bought one Thanksgiving food item, nor have I bought one gift for Christmas. All of the blogs I love are in full swing, and not only reflecting on the season, but already deocrating for Christmas. I need to catch up, but I think maybe I need to slow down at the same time, I mean what is the point if you cannot get some enjoyment out of it. I will accept my shortcomings this year with regard to the Holiday, and accept that indeed I missed the mark for Thanksgiving, but that Christmas planning is still salvagable. This has been a whirlwind year with a lot of change, for myself and people that are the closest to my heart. It is necessary, and joyous, and painful. It is so many things, but things that remind you that you are alive. The last two years, have been this way for my family, but my family has grown more in the last two years than in the last 5-7, we were stuck in a rut, comfortable in our numb boredom, trudging along in our assigned roles. First the change with myself and my Hubby, we were blessed with an opportuning to move and live in the country. The stars lined up, because even though we were trudging along, we both had a dream that we spoke to each other, and to the universe. We wanted to live in the country, and not be house poor. I wont go into it, but our prayers were answered, almost defying our inactivity to do anything that would seem to bring this about. I truly believe if you send that energy out into the Universe with a desire and passion, it can happen the stars line up, things fall into place, that really shouldnt, but somehow inexplicably do.
I was laid off, from a job I loved last year, like many other people in this economy, I was adrift and down, but I somehow found a job I love better, and fits me better. Who knew. I achieved things this year, by choosing to stop fighting against the tide, I am a fighter by nature, meaning that I grew up and brought up my children, to never let anything keep you down, you always get back up you always fight for yourself, staying down is not an option, but I realized that while this is a good trait, you have to really stand back and look at the situation, and realize that God will provide, if you listen to your heart, and you flow with the tide, and never stop moving forward. I will reflect on this Thanksgiving, and not trying to make it to too many places in too short a time, or wait in lines at the grocery store, I will hold my family near, we will laugh, talk, and cry a little, but we will be Thankful, that everyday is a chance to move forward and make it right, make it better. Sorry so long, I kind of got lost in my self therapy there. Enjoy your holiday, enjoy what matters. Slow down and breathe a minute. Happy Thanksgiving

Strangers

To make a long story kind of short, I took off of work today to offer my daughter some moral support at magistrate court for a ticket issue. Meaning I had to wake up very early, and wait in a cold long line waiting for the privelege to go through a metal detector, stand in another line, go upstairs and sit on a hard bench for 4 hours-Anywho- Where do strangers come in. Well it occurred to me today, after sitting on a bench for 4 hours (because I could not go in the courtroom, and sit on their hard bench, not permitted) that sometimes a stranger can be a really good thing. A very pleasant lady sat next to me, and struck up a conversation, we talked and talked, and she handed me a snack, and we talked some more. Dont get me wrong, I am generally the type of person who avoids contact with perfect stangers, you know avoid contact, give quick answers, as not to give the impression that I am interested, lol!, but sometimes it is nice to sit and talk, and vent to a perfect stanger, that you will absolutely never see again. We talked about some pretty heady stuff, we both got something out of it, it has to be I would imagine similar to baring your soul to the bartender. Sometimes it is easier to see yourself through the eyes of stranger, than your loved ones, because I think when you engage with this person, you feel the need on some level to let them know you a little bit, which means you look at yourself and define yourself to a degree. Anyway it is kind of funny when you have those encounters because even though it is very nice, and a little cathardic, it is like when the person leaves, smiling with a little wave and thank you for the conversation, it is like they carried away a rough piece of you. Very nice, so most of you probably already know this, but if you dont, trust me, slow down take a minute, lighten your load, connect. It is so worth it. PS Soap pics soon. LL

VINTAGE BUTTONS

graphic old typeset

Beautiful textural tactile antique marbles

Love These... I have to look with my hands, I am one of those people!!! you know the ones, that have to touch everrrything. So I love things around me that I can hold, touch, and contemplate the 100+ year old DNA that made it, and played with these. I adore texture, and an organic quality to clay and pottery. MR. SL is pretty good with the camera, huh!! share some of your inspiration with me.

Inspiration from beautiful unusual randomness

You Must

Go over to the Oakmossfamilyblogspot, not only does Amber make and sell the most amazing soaps, balms, lotions, bath salts and candles, she is an animal advocate, and right now you can go to her site and not only support her friends at Olympic Animal Sanctuary, you can enter to win, some of her great product, a lot of her great product.

FAMILY

My weekend like most, went by way too fast. I got very little accomplished this weekend. I spent time with my extended family. My family does something I dont think many families do anymore. Maybe I am wrong, anywho, it is very important to us, and amazingly we appreciate it so much because it is only something we started doing a couple of years ago.

We get together once a month, at different aunts, uncles, cousins etc... home. BBQ, Fishfrys, Potluck Galore. We all made a concious effort to do this, because we, most of us, realized that if we are not connected in a more meaningful way the whole meaning of family is lost. I know we are lucky to not live terribly far apart, so it is possible for us. It doesnt have to be a big production, just sharing and bonding, and yes bitching. Anyway everyone needs that.
I come from a big family of huggers, not so much myself, but I been getting better at giving hugs, I have always been pretty good at getting them. The event(s) that led up to our insight, was the fact that my grandmother has (5) children and many, many grand, and great grand children. My uncle who is very sweet and dear to me and my entire family for his open heart, thoughtfulness, and unbelievable sense of humor (unless you are on the receiving end of it lol!) suffers from severe bi-polar disorder, when he crashes he crashes hard, and almost does not come out of his hole. We realized when we are there to support him (even if he doesnt want it) he realizes how very much he is loved and needed in our lives. We got to together to give him a tighter bond and hold him closer, and make my grandmothers final days full of days and memories with he offspring.

I dont think any of us realized how much we would benefit from it. Some of our gatherings are full of music (lots of talented musicians in my family, and no I am not one of them ha!) but sometimes we break off into smaller pockets, and have meaningful tearful, conversations, you know the your not alone conversations, things-dark things, people feel that they dont share, and dont know if they are crazy, or normal, or what their family and friends would think, and the oh my gosh! that is me, that is what I do epiphany, that not only does someone understand, they have the same feelings, and they happen to have been in front of you the whole time, the support in that is unbelievably wonderful, to really know and love your family completely, the walls come down. They are the wonderful people who just this weekened when I walked through the door, feeling a little down, grab me and hug me, and tell me that I am the same beautiful little girl I have always been, and believe me when you are forty-ish lol! and down over issues that is just the thing you need to hear and feel.

My point besides paying a little tribute to my wonderful family, is that you probably have a possible connection and resource you are not even considering, give it a chance, and share your story with me if you feel compelled. Next time I will talk about kids of the uhmmm!!! grown variety. Have a great day, I will post food pics next time.

Its been a while

It has been quite a while since I posted. I have been inside myself for a while and on my constant ongoing journey of trying to become a better, more.....satisfied human being. To keep my interest simple and meaningful. I have gained great inspiration from many new sources. It is truly amazing the way that opening your eyes, and trying to connect with others that you are inspired and it leads you down different paths and ways of thinking. I guess that is one reason that I havent blogged in a while, I have been absorbing, and appreciating new people in blog land, but in doing so. I see myself more clearly, amazing how that works. I am sure many of you figured that out long ago, and while I consider myself a pretty open person, I have been an introvert and maybe until recently did not fully invite or see what was out there, the giving nature of others, when they do not realize that sharing who they are gives validation, strength and inspiration to others.

Simple Living

Join me on my journey to simple living, upcycling, recipes etc...