Thursday, February 13, 2014
A re-do and Sticky Stuff
Hmmm! Firstly the sticky stuff, the stuff that keeps you quiet and scratching your head, and holding your heart. I need to make up with someone, and by make up I mean I can never go back and fix it, and i cannot do what they want me to do with my life....Because honestly I am a complex person, in that I kind of find comfort in my dark corners, and that makes a lot of people, namely people that mean everything to me worried. Worried I suppose that I am settling, that I am not living the life they saw for me???????? At any rate the make up, is really sticky because you see, I cannot breath without these loves, and I cannot stop being me either. I just have to be less me in their presence. Does any of this make sense?? I am such a flood of emotions, I am thrilled because we are finally coming together, a healing of sorts is taking place, I hope. I am a little sad because I mourn the before fall out era, I am a little angry because I have to walk lightly and watch my words, until this tender thing heals, and maybe for ever with them. I love them, I need them, the inner conflict goes on, and as much as it goes against what i am trying to accomplish in my journey, i will meet them where they are, and I will honor them, and their truth, and my responsibility for them.