Bird Magic

I started meditation when I was 14 years old and continued daily until I was 22 years old, if calmed my racing mind, help me clear my mind and helped me to unravel whatever perceived problem I had at that time. The goal with a completely clear mind, with little or no outside thought entering. I stopped meditating abruptly at age 22 for reasons I may discuss at some other point, but basically I believe something dark entered my sphere, and I did not know at that point how to deal with this, and stopped. When I started my journey in earnest i realized that meditation was going to be a very important part of that. I have learned through my meditation (which I am not practicing nearly enough) I now need visualation, and I am looking for an experience. The little time I have set aside for meditation has been very fruitful, and amazing when I go into it with an expectation. In my last meditation I was seeking calm and beauty. I imagined myself as a bird, flying over a forest, I then decided that I wanted to be over a body of water, a lake a river, no this isnt doing it for me, I know an old favorite from vacations, a beach, rays of sun bouncing off the water like little diamond lights, the air current, i flew close to the beach, as I liked the warmth and glisten from the sand and the tide rolling in. I would soar, and ride the air current, and dip sharply to the surface. It was a wonderful calming meditation, when I experienced the Sea Gull.

To be honest as special as that meditation was, I hadnt conciously thought about it since that time. I think I just imagined all these things, and perhaps did not realize as I tend not to, that the bird came to me, and had a message. The message I did not fully get until yesterday. I was in rush hour traffic, a particularly bad day, feeling a little agressive, as I was just trying to get home, angry, uptight, etc.... All of the sudden it sounded like it was actually in my truck, I heard a seagull, I was no where near water, or gulls for that matter generally. As soon as I heard it, I immediately heard it tell me to find my calm, and immediately after taking a breath, I did , I thought what a special gift. The crazy part, is that I still did not make the connection at that time to the meditation. I had driven another 35 miles, and it hit me, I recalled the meditation, and the gull, I just laughed like a loon, what a Universe... It is clear to me that my journey will strongly involve animal medicine, and I can no longer ignor the signs of that. I am very excited. I have always been an animal person and generally prefer their company to humans. I will move forward to receive all of the animal medicine that I can receive, and be nourished with. I know typically that sea gulls are not associated with calm with regard to animal totems, but for me in my personal experience it does, likely because my favorite vacations are always at the beach, and it just takes me there.

Uneasy

I have thought about blogging over the last week, but I have been moody, uneasy, unsure, and not really able to decipher if it is hormonal, anxiety or something else. I think perhaps its the feeling you get when you have your feet in different worlds. I want to spend every moment working on my business, my soap, etc... There has been turmoil in my work life causing me to question the way it makes me feel, the knot in my stomach, the feeling that i am wasting time on the necessity of earning a living, vs. living with passion and doing what I love. The uneasiness of turning my passion into a full fledged business with all the trappings, but rewards of that. The sharing of that process with people I love, but sharing it all the same. I m sure it is a choice I can make, but I am not sure how at this point. I am happy with my life in general,just the things that are no longer fitting well that are causing some pains. I dont want to ignore them, I also dont want to dwell on them. I think I should continue to meditate and send my hopes and dreams out into the Universe and believe that the way will be created by my intent and desire.

Floating

CREDIT TO NKG Public Mind Blog

Just floating through my life today, I had a very fruitful weekend, new partners in my business, so many creative ideas floating around, making soap, and other scrumptous delights for the body and soul. A long day with wine, food, creativity and loved ones. Yesterday and Today, just floating, just being, good...bad... I dont know...but required.

Empress

The spread is always spot on for me...as I guess it would be since it was reading my energy, and reinforcing, what I already know or should know. It was so comforting when I received the Empress as my final card. Steve reads my cards for me.

The mother figure of the Tarot deck, the Empress Tarot card meanings are all about love, abundance, nurturing, and pleasure. When we observe the card we see elements of nature - all exploding on the card - the Empress brings about the flood of growth and is the epitome of abundance. She reminds us that there is always enough for everyone to enjoy. There is no shortage.

Let it Grow !

I have completed my dream board, I am sure I will keep adding to it, but it felt so good to make a visual representation to add weight to my intention for this year. As i mentioned before I have a fledgling business, that quite frankly and proudly I have birthed, and nurtured, and held on tight to, honestly not letting to many other people touch or change it. I realized something though. That this child I created deserved to grow and become bigger than me, and as emotional as it is, I am so happy that I made the decision to bring others in to help me and share in growing this baby into something, big beautiful and meaningful. It has taken on a life of its own, and I must let it. I realized that when people started referring to me as "That Crow & Sparrow Person" lol... This is an exciting year for me and my Company. I am fully engaged and ready to make this everything it can be, and revel in the fact that it is leaving the nest...so to speak....and becoming something up until recently I cannot and should not contain. I will share my magic, and let it grow, as it will uninpeded by.....me....

The Joy, Pain and Beauty of Breaking Open

I love this quote....

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

I feel so much like that tight bud of a flower. Holding tight and secure, wrapping itself around the layers of the delicate hidden petals. This whole process for me is a breaking open, and I think when the seeker takes on the adventure of exploring the deep underbelly of ones life, it is still less painful then the staying closed and not experience the full potential of the beauty to become what you really always were. To let the air, and the light in, to share your beauty, and the realness of who you are and your life. I have not fully bloomed, but I have certainly started to break open, and I can definitely feel the light coming in, and shining a light on the once hidden places.

ART & DREAMS

I was so tired when I got home this evening. My energy has been low all day. I decided I needed to start my Dream Board for 2012, I cannot believe how enjoyable, and energizing it was. MY honey was in the midst of an art piece he was working on, and I was working away on my Dream Board. I have just started and have so much more to add. A night of Art and Dreaming is good for the soul.